Knowing
Knowing
I asked my son to listen to one of the latest messages of sharing,
then asked for his comments.
“It sure sounds complicated Mom. It doesn’t sound simple. `Energy
balance’…? Why not come right out and say feeling needy?”
“What you’re hearing is an expression of distance, Honey. That’s
why so much emphasis is being placed on feeling. Because most of us
are generally distanced as far away from acknowledging our genuine
feelings as we can get. What most of us feel is not coming from our
Hearts, but from our guts. And we deal with these gut level
feelings in one of two ways, I’ve observed.
There’s our pattern of detaching ourselves from our feelings and
escaping into our mentality. It’s where a lot of our analytical
tendencies are coming from. I notice things like aggression and
anger on the rise and the tones of the popular music, to see what it
is we’re avoiding. What feelings we’re keeping locked inside, using
mental gymnastics and pursuits, as exercises in distraction.
There’s a lot of concentration on virtual reality going on and very
little concentration on improving coping skills.”
“That’s why you are the way you are about video games aren’t you
Mom?”
“Yes, to a point. I didn’t tell you I wouldn’t allow video games.
I would just make you unplugged from them every so often when your
social skills started suffering. You’re my math and engineering
child. Abstract concepts come easy for you.
As your Mother, my goal was well balanced. When you showed signs of
impatience and were quick to anger at your sister’s annoyance, I
would tell you to unplug for a week and read a book. Reading the
book activated the other side of your brain, your imagination. You
get too right brained, I direct you to the left. Just like when
Angela gets too left, I direct her to the right. The goal is
balanced. Well balanced.
This running away from our emotions into our mentality is like
hiding the dirty litter box behind a door. We don’t have to
acknowledge it’s full but, the smell still permeates everything.
We’re not facing our emotions but the emotions are still very much
present.
The other pattern we use is one of simply indulging ourselves in our
feelings, never mind knowing what those feelings are and why we’re
feeling them. Emotional self indulgence.
If we didn’t indulge ourselves in emotions below the waistline, then
chances are, we wouldn’t have so many issues with how far those
waistlines are expanding. Maybe if we called them wastelines, then
it would become clear what so many of us keep doing to ourselves.
Emotions and feelings from our gut level are not Loving emotions.
And it’s these emotions that we keep feeding ourselves. Emotions
that are not Loving, nor nurturing. The more we nurture these denser
emotions, the more we feel them. The more we feel them, the more we
feel we need nurturing. It is a cycle of neediness. And one of the
rules of the game is that there never will be enough.”
“Enough of what?”
“Enough of whatever. It doesn’t matter. It can’t be enough, for if
it ever was, then we wouldn’t find ourselves in need.
Reminds me of the new Lime Coke. Have you had one?”
“Yes. I know what it does.”
“Yeah, the lime is an aftertaste. You drink more Coke to kill the
aftertaste and end up with more of an aftertaste. You can drink the
whole bottle and still end up thirsty for something to kill the
aftertaste. Perfect treat for Halloween, a drink that leaves you
thirsty after drinking it.
Of the two patterns, the emotionally indulgent one is the most
draining. It usually just goes on and on and on, one guilt trip
after another. Which is one of the main reasons why so many of us
use the other pattern. To make ourselves immune to those of us
using this one.
You and Angela are good examples of the patterns. Male/female. One
lives in denial of emotions and the other wallows in it. You’ve
just got a vulture of a Mom that won’t tolerate the use of either
unhealthy pattern in my house.”
“Why? Isn’t that being kind of controlling, Mom?”
“If I don’t each you what Respect IS, then you won’t know how to be
Respectful to others. Neither of the emotional patterns I mentioned
are Respectful of others. And yes, you may just chalk it up to
being a Condition. If I’m not being treated with Respect in my own
home, you’re going to hear about it. Chances are, so will the
neighbors.”
“How is it Disrespectful?”
“Because neither pattern Respects our emotions as our emotions.
One pattern detaches in order to avoid claiming them. The other
simply blames every emotion experienced, on someone or something
else.
The one thing that would help both, is the one thing that both
avoid.”
“What’s that?”
“Sovereignty. Respecting and Honoring our emotions as our
emotions. Then and only then, are we empowered to start governing
them. Choose to feed ourselves emotions that are Loving and
nurturing instead of those that aren’t.
Your textbook for that college Health class you took called it being
Self Nurturing and listed it as one of the requirements for being
considered mentally and emotionally healthy. Research studies have
found the link between wellness and being self nurturing in our
attitudes.
The neediness, the draining of resources, physical resources, mental
resources and emotional resources, in order to maintain the feeding
cycle.., that’s what was meant by `energy balancing`.”
“Everybody in need and fighting over pieces of a pie, instead of
claming Sovereignty, being self nurturing and increasing the size of
the pie?”
“You got it. Start balancing the energy. Make pie bigger. Instead
of fighting over pieces.”
“What’s this word mean?”
“Which one?”
“Gnost. What’s that all about?”
“It’s a term that’s been used before historically. `Gnost’
means `knowing’.”
“Well, why didn’t they just say that?”
“You’d have to ask them. Maybe they didn’t `know’?”
“That’s funny Mom.”
“I didn’t mean it to be funny but yes, I see the humor in the
situation. Been there. Done that. `We shall see, said the blind
man’. Same thing.
Jason, I know the word, because I know some Greek and I studied the
esoteric texts. `Gnost’ and `agnost’. `To know’ and `to know
not’. Both come from the root word gnosis, which means Knowledge,
but this knowledge isn’t the head kind. This Knowledge is an inner
Knowing. Ancients Greeks used to call it an Intuitive Knowing.
It’s the Knowing that comes from our Hearts. Gnost is when
Understanding sinks in.
We Understand because we Know. I taught you to be Heart centered.
To believe in what you Know and not dishonor it in favor of what
someone else said they thought they knew. I’ve hammered Sovereignty
into your head like a drill sergeant since you were little Hon.
It’s part of what makes you `different’.”
“Thanks Mom.”
“I didn’t miss the sarcasm.”
“It did make it difficult when it came to relating to kids my age.”
“I know it did. I went through it, too. It’s getting better isn’t
it? Now that you’re in college and around others that are focused
in self development?”
“Yes, yes it is.”
“Well, it’s going to get easier, too. For a lot of us. We’re
going to have more company on the play ground real soon. I don’t
know how big the wave is, but there is a massive wave of people that
just expanded to the level of claiming their Sovereignty. A great
many of us have recently chosen to reconnect and start opening our
Hearts. Now the healing can genuinely begin.
The grounding and anchoring is going on just like I suspected. This
is cause for celebration. We`re gonna’ have company.”
“I don’t understand Mom.”
“In old literature, what’s going on used to be
called ‘precipitation’. We Love an idea first in our Mind. This
mental Love is called Admiration. If we admire it long enough and
often enough and strong enough, then one day we’ll have become
comfortable enough with the idea to open our Hearts and, it will
start grounding and anchoring. We’ll start digesting it. We will
come to know the feeling the idea represents. Genuine Understanding
will literally sink in. Once it is anchored and grounded in our
Hearts, then we become able to live it. Expressing it in our daily
activities and responses to Life.
Grounding Gnost is like digesting one of those 72 ounce Texas
steaks. We can only do it one bite at a time and digest each bite,
allowing ourselves time to absorb it, otherwise, we’ll get sick.
What makes it even more of a challenge, is that most of us are
anorexic or bulimic when it comes to Gnost. It’s hard for us to
swallow, much less digest.
Just simply the word being used threw me for a loop. What threw me
was the context. It took me back almost 18 years. `Gnost`,
meaning `to know’ from the Greek word gnosis, meaning Knowledge,
Intuitive Knowing.”
“That would have helped.”
“They didn’t Know, Honey. It is this Knowing that many are now
opening up to Dear. It’s the Knowing that is now in the process of
precipitating. It’s comparable to the event of bringing down the
Berlin Wall but happening on a much more profound level. There is
great excitement and a sense of celebration as the wall tumbles.
The next thing that will happen is a realization of how much healing
work there is to be done. Like the realization of how horrid the
conditions were in East Germany and how much work and effort it was
going to take to bring East Germany up to the standards enjoyed by
West Germany.”
“Celebrate today for tomorrow reality is going to sink in.”
“Basically. Using the word Gnost is really insightful. For the
subject is Empowerment and claiming our Sovereignty. Being True to
what we Know in our Hearts. Being True to Gnost. Cease choosing
Self denial and Self betrayal. And the world will quit mirroring
that betrayal. Honor thyself. Respect thyself. Love thyself.”
“Mom, why is the pattern of self denial and self betrayal so
widespread?”
“It’s what we’ve all been taught. Monkey see, monkey do. The
pattern of denial and betrayal was formally decreed to be
the `Christian’ moral standard at the Council of Nicea in 325 AD.”
“The Council of Nicea?”
“Yes, the Council of Nicea. Nicea is a town in Turkey. Roman
Emperor Constantine I
convened a council there in 325 AD. The invitation list was very
exclusive. Only Agnostics were invited to attend and contribute.”
“Agnostics?”
“Yes. Agnostics. Agnost means `to know not’. The New Testament is
basically set against an agnostic background of worshipping
Ignorance. Make `not knowing’ a moral goal and make knowing taboo.
That’s what was done.
It was at this council that certain self proclaimed religious
authorities of the time decided the contents of the `New
Testament’. Since only Agnostics attended, only agnostic
interpretations and perspectives were declared as valid and True,
while any and all Gnostic perspectives and interpretations were
declared heresy. To speak or write of them meant a death sentence.
Reference to this is in your movie King Arthur.”
“Where?”
“Arthur’s mentor, Pelagius. It is mentioned in the movie that he
was executed for his beliefs. Because according to his beliefs,
others didn’t look so holy. Pelagius was a Gnostic. His death
sentence was due to the overriding perspective of The Church at the
time. It was Agnostic. The Church didn’t like the Gnostic
perspective.”
“Why?”
“Because in accordance with the Gnostic perspective, religion is a
personal experience of individual consciousness. A deeply and
profoundly personal experience of communing with the Knowing in our
Hearts.
For all the other little petty disagreements that were decided and
presumably set in stone at that council, the negation of the Gnostic
perspective wasn’t even argued by those in attendance. Of course
Gnostics needed to be wiped out. Individual spiritual experiences
would nullify the hierarchy and authority of The Church.
Here’s the real kicker, though…
It was also decreed that it be accepted on Blind Faith that those
who selected the books included and labeled as the New Testament,
were Divinely inspired.”
“Inspired by what?”
“By `not knowing’ obviously. But anyone who questioned the sense in
accepting `not knowing’ as `knowledge’ throughout the ages, was
summarily executed.
There you have it. That’s how we all got programmed in Denial and
Betrayal. Because it meant a death sentence not to be for many
ages.”
“But Mom, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“What doesn’t make any sense?”
“To claim to be an authority on ‘not knowing’. How could you know?”
“Does sound kind of dumb doesn’t it? It gets even worse in terms of
sense, really.”
“How?”
“We’re suppose accept this authority as having unknown powers for
determining the unknowable. We’re not suppose to question the sense
or the authority. And simply questioning is proof of wanting to
know, wanting to understand. We’re not suppose to want `to
know`. It’s `wrong’ to want to know. Obedience is `good’.
Understanding is `bad’.
I’ll show you how ingrained the pattern of `not suppose to want to
understand’ is.”
“How?”
“Have you ever seen one of your friends getting into trouble for
asking their parents or some other authority figure `why’?”
“Yeah!”
“Well…there it is. A simple expression of seeking to understand
perceived as a threat to ‘authority’.”
“You never acted that way, Mom.”
“No, I didn’t. I knew better. I didn’t want compliance. What good
would that do? You’d end up being a co-dependent that needs others
to think and make decisions for them. I don’t want to have to carry
you all my life. 9 months was enough. Nor do I want to fight with
some other female as to who’s going to make your decisions for you.
No thanks. I suppose I could have raised you immersed in The
Church’s teachings and dogma in order to control your choices. Then
I could have used guilt to whip you with, for the rest of your life.”
“Guilt over what?”
“Oh I don’t know. I could have made up something, like trying to
make you feel guilty for kicking me all those times when I was
pregnant with you. It doesn’t matter what the guilt is over once
we’ve already been programmed to respond to guilt. But I didn’t do
that either.
I knew your path, your Life’s Joy depends on listening to your own
heart and basing your choices on what your own Heart reveals to
you. It’s our Hearts that tell us our Passion. It’s our Hearts
that tell us our Joys. It’s our Heart that Loves.
I desired your Understanding. I wanted you to know how to
understand things yourself, for yourself. The more you questioned,
the more you expressed your desire to know. I supported and
nurtured that to the best of my ability. I taught you to question,
seeking Understanding. I didn’t want you to believe in the
unknowable, just the unknown.”
“I didn’t realize the worship of Ignorance was so widespread.”
“Believe me, we don’t know what we’re doing when it comes to what we
choose to believe.
The taboo against Knowing is really strong. So most of us don’t
question. Being caught questioning and not just simply believing,
is like being labeled a religious criminal of some kind. Fear of
the consequences is an overriding factor of many. Why, I’ve even
had a ‘Shaman’ quite earnestly warn me of the dire consequences of
Knowing in these days and times.”
“Why is the fear so strong?”
“Most likely has something to do with all the persecutions and
exterminations. The Cathars, The Knights Templar, The Freemasons,
The Rosicrucian’s, The Ascended Master Teaching Foundation, The
Illuminati, were and are essentially Gnostic groups.”
“Secret societies?”
“You bet. But not for subversive reasons. Secret as in, we will be
executed if anyone finds out we even know about these alternate
perspectives. The word ‘occult’ means that which is hidden.
When ‘not knowing’ became the way of the World, ‘knowing’ had to go
underground, in order to avoid being noticed.”
“All those names you mentioned, they`re familiar but I don’t know
why.”
“Most likely because you’ve seen the names before. Lots of time.
Every time we moved my library. The Esoteric teachings of all
those society’s are what’s in all those books.”
“I don’t have to read all of them do I”?
“Heaven’s no. Not unless you particularly want to. Maybe you’d
like to check my resources?’
“No way.”
“Then simply leave it at knowing there is ample reference material
at hand, should you ever be interested or curious. I think the
material is outdated myself. We are Living Beings and expand in our
Understanding all the time. You told me the information I sought.”
“It sure will be more fun on the playground with more kids to play
with, huh, Mom?”
“Yes, Dear. It will be nice to have company.”
